I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
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