if i died would you start the facebook group?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
