i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
