I'm eating all of the evidence.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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