He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
