you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
