I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
