sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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