nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
