This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
