She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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