On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I am spending my child support on dildos
accomplished twins. life is a go
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
