yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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