What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
