I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
