her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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