I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
