I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
