Nicole vs. Life
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
