we're chasing vodka with high fives
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
