9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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