Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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