okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
