There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
