so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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