my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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