All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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