You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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