in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
