Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Still dying that you shit outside
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
