people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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