Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
