garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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