I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
