Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
