I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
