Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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