drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
