You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
