I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
