that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
