We're facebook friends in real life
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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