he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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