I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
