I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
