you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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