Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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