Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
