Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Randomize
