whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
